Quotation by: http://itsheavensmelody.tumblr.com/
“How do you live so happily while I am sad & broken down?”
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
— Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (via moronicbeauty)
(via katehashope)
“But when it came right down to it, the skin of my wrist looked so white and defenseless that I couldn’t do it. It was as if what I wanted to kill wasn’t in that skin or the thin blue pulse that jumped under my thumb, but somewhere else, deeper, more secret, and a whole lot harder to get.”
— Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar.
samanthalady asked: Dude, Sammi. You don't even know, everything you just said about your friend is the exact same way. I'm not even kidding. "Sure, you'll listen but as soon as you can you turn it back to you." jahsdjasd. UGH. Exactly. I can relate so freaking much. You deserve better. xo
UGH is right. It’s seriously the most frustrating feeling in the world to know that someone who’s supposed to be your best friend just doesn’t care what you have to say, unless it’s about them, of course. After almost a week of not answering her phone calls & then giving her a taste of her own medicine for a few days, her head is only 3/4ths of the way stuck up her ass now, haha. Baby steps, I guess. :|
Day 1 - Dear Best Friend,
Warning: There are a few different people who apply here but one in particular drives me THISCLOSE to killing myself or her on a daily basis so to keep myself alive and out of prison, I’m going to bitch (about her bitching as a matter of fact).
You’ve been my best friend for almost 5 years now. You came into my life when it was completely falling apart. You were there sitting next to me, passing back and forth a bottle of vodka and listening to me cry about life when I was at my worst. You were there when I finally ended my pity party and started putting myself back together again. You were still there when that was finished and I was back to being a fully-functional, happy human being again.
Now, though? You aren’t here. Not really. You still call me at least 3 times every day and occasionally stop by but our friendship isn’t at all like it used to be, if it can even be considered that anymore. Now, no exaggeration, the only time I hear from you is when you need someone to listen to you bitch and whine and complain about your life. I honestly dread answering your phone calls and more often than not, I ignore them because I already know exactly what’s going to take place. It’s the same thing every single time you call. Please, let me enlighten you because It’s very obvious that you’re oblivious to it.
I answer.
One of two things happens. You either ask me what’s up and immediately after I respond start complaining without acknowledging anything I said, or, if you’re having a “really bad day”, you disregard me completely and the first thing that comes out of your mouth is “I’m so fucking pissed” or “I need to fucking bitch” and without even pausing to breathe, off you go on your same old rant.
It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t so monotonous. I can rattle off your part of our conversation word-for-word in my head while you’re saying it out loud. I’m very aware that you hate your fucking job; how much of a bitch your boss is; how mad it makes you that the girl who was hired for midnights gets all of your hours and you get stuck with hers and make no money. I know all about how exhausted you are because you work too much and that because of it, you never get to see your child. I also know that when you actually DO get to see her, you’re too busy complaining about her to appreciate it. She’s mean to you; she never listens; she does things just to piss you off. I get it, trust me. You’re not the only one with kids in case you’ve forgotten. (Although yours does seem to be quit the life-ruiner for a two-year-old.)
The best part, though, is how every time I try to tell you something that (God forbid) has to do with me or something that’s going on in my life… You’ll listen, sure, but the second that I’m done, you never fail to turn the conversation right back to being about you. Or how once you’re done bitching and you’ve got everything that you needed to off of your chest, that’s where the conversation ends. That’s your cue to tell me that you have to go or that you’ll call me back in a few. Or how if I’m having a bad day and stupidly decide to call you and vent, you always have to call me back. Except even when you get around to calling me back, you forget that there was ever anything that I needed to talk about in the first place and go straight to you, you, you.
Take tonight for example, after you already called me twice to listen to your bullshit while totally ignoring the part where I told you I had company, you texted me not even two hours later and this conversation took place:
You: Oh my god, dude. I need a serious bitch sesh asap. What time do you wake up in the morning?
Me: Uh, whatever time you call me?
You: Ok. If you don’t wake up, I’ll just come in.
Me: We lock the doors so just knock loud.
You: K. If I don’t kill myself before then, I’ll see ya in the morning.
How is it okay for you to show up at my house while I’m still sleeping and wake me up just for that? You might work a lot but mine never ends. I have two kids that I take care of all day, every day. I still have to get up with one of those kids during the night. There’s a good chance that I probably need the sleep that I do get but that doesn’t matter?
I just can’t even begin to understand how you don’t realize any of this. Is your head seriously stuck that far up your own ass? Are you seriously that selfish? Do you really think that you’re more important than the rest of us? And do you honestly believe that your life is that terrible? Step back into reality, sweetheart, because it’s not even close.
At least you have a job. You have a car to get to that job. You have family to help watch your child while you go to that job and that cares about you like no other. You have an amazing, smart, gorgeous daughter and someone that cares about BOTH of you. You still get to go out and do things like a normal 20-year-old. Your life has been relatively easy and good so what the fuck are you seriously complaining about? Why does it suck so bad to wake up every day and be you? Why can’t you just appreciate the good things you have and enjoy life?
And really, in all honesty, has it ever once even crossed your mind that maybe, just MAYBE, I’m not the best person to cry to about how hard your life is? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that the last 10 years of mine haven’t exactly been all rainbows and sunshine. Compared to other people, though, I’ve not only found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow but the sunshine reflecting off that gold is so bright it’s fucking blinding.
To get to the point: I’m your friend, not your therapist and things could be so much worse so quit bitching around and love what you’ve got.
